last for september

Sept 28, 2009 (Mon) - 4:00 - 5:15pm


=== P ===
I visited (I) first but she has a visitor (her brother) and I dont want to interrupt so I decided to visit (P) first...she was sleeping when i knocked at her door but she did open her eyes when she heard my voice... i asked her how she's been and i saw a resemblance of a smile... she looked at me for a bit and fell asleep... i dont know what else to do so i just sat there next to her bed, watched her sleep and i just rub her hands and arms from time to time...



=== I ===
next was (I)...the first thing she said when she saw me was "oh there you are!"....i just wheeled her up and down the hall as usual... she looked upset when i saw her...she was talking about her brother not telling her something... i just reassured her that that's not true... i didnt hold her hands this time because she was scratching her legs and i can see it's getting irritated because blood is everywhere... i also noticed that she had a haircut... her hair looked fuller now which is good....



=== T ===
i was looking for T in the dining hall but he wasn't there so i went to his room... he was sleeping when i entered but he did open his eyes when he heard my voice... he started telling me something which sounded french, i'm not sure, but i am very sure it's not english... anyway, i just smiled at him while he talks then when he stopped i told him i am going to read to him... i read to him until it's time to go.



=== J ===
(J) was not in the dining room also where i would usually find her and i haven't been to her room so i asked one of the nurses where her room is.... her room is just right next to (T)...she was lying sideways when i saw her... i greeted her and she was all smiles again... i asked her how she is and she said she's fine... i saw a big photo frame on a cabinet next to her bed and i know that's hers... i saw pretty smiling faces on the photos and i told her about it...she just said yeah, yeah...although im not sure if she knows who those in the pictures are... i was tempted to ask her who they are but i figured that's not a good idea because it might upset her if she cant remember who they are because i can see from her face that she doesn't know if that photo frame is even hers (im sure it's hers, one photo of a young lady looks like her grand daughter and she looks like her!)..we just talked for a bit... i did most of the talking... she would also try to say something and she would make fun of herself whenever she starts to stutter... when it's time to leave i just told her i have to go because it's getting late and they will be serving dinner soon and i told her i'll be back and that she should wait for me and she just said "ok"...

p.s.
(J) is now also 4x a month


p.p.s
i received my portable chair last thursday!
and it made a lot of difference...no more
sitting on the floor!
here's how it looks like (click me)

two nail polish sessions

sept 20 ,2009 (sun) - 09:00 - 11:00am



=== T ===
i visited him first. he was sleeping the whole time i was there. i did try to say hi to him and introduced myself but i guess i was just white noise to him. so i just sat there next to him rubbing his shoulder once in a while just so he would feel my presence. when it was time to leave i just rubbed his shoulder one last time and whispered "bye T".



=== I ===
next stop was I. she's in the dining room all slouched down as usual. i said my hi to her and even though she can't remember me she still makes me feel like she wants me there to talk to her.

i started wheeling her up to the lounge area where i told her "it's time to try another color!" while showing her the plum-colored nail polish that i just bought. i removed the old pink nail polish first and then i started painting her nail with the plum colored one. she was quiet and was just watching me paint her nails when she suddenly made a funny comment, she asked: "are you kissing my hand?" with this lil girl's look on her face. i laughed at that and told her i was trying to make the nail polish to dry quickly (i was blowing on her nails). she does seemed to enjoy it whenever i do that because she would smile and she would put her forehead next to mine whenever i come real close to her face while i blow the nail polish dry. i actually liked that. this visit thing is a good therapy for me too.

anyway, after we're done i took a photo of her hands with the new nail polish and i started to wheel her up and down the hall stopping on windows and playing "what do you see" game.



=== P ===
next was P. i saw the nurse helping her out of her room to go to the dining hall. she was smiling when i saw her. i've never seen her smile before. i think she liked her little walking trip. i watched while the nurse took her to a nearby sit. she got me worried for a bit when i saw how P was trying to feel where the chair was with her body already kind of leaning forward getting ready to sit and with her heels rocking back and forth trying to maintain her balance while the nurse who was helping her was talking to another nurse with her back on P. i almost ran to where P was but there's a trash bin in between me & the nurse and P. but it was a relief when i saw her maintained her balance and was already trying to sit slowly and! still smiling.

whew!

i was making sure the nurse was done with P before i started walking towards P and tried to excuse and squeeze in between the 2 nurses. then i said hi to P and that's when i saw her wrinkles for the first time. remember how i thought her skin was smooth when i saw her the first time? maybe it was gravity that's why i can't see the wrinkles (she was always lying down on her bed when i visit her). anyway, that's when i realized she is old.

i talked to her for a bit. asking her how she's been and she started looking for frances? i'm not sure if i heard her right. but she kept asking for frances and the "where's my sister at?". so maybe frances is her sister's name? anyway, i told her i have something for her and we're having a nail polish session while i held and rub her hand. she looked relax that time and she just willingly rested her hand on my thigh while i painted her nails. when i was almost done a minister walked up to us and asked me if i'm a family of P and told him i'm a friend and was there to visit P. the minister made some pleasant comments and then he started asking P if she wants to receive her communion to which she said yes. so the minister started reading some verses from the bible while i just sat there (the minister said it's ok for me to stay) and watched P received her communion. then the minister left and P and I went back to our nail polish session. after we're done i stayed there for a bit more, rubbing her hands and then said my goodbye.





=== J ===
one of the nurses in the nursing section saw me when i peeked into the dining hall ( was looking for J) and asked me if they can help me with something. that's when i saw where J was.

i saw J on a heavy looking wheel chair just outside the dining hall door, near the nurses section, with a finished cup of pudding-like medicine on her hand and sleeping. so i immediately told the nurse i came for J then went to where J is. one of the nurses asked me what my position in that hospice is and i wasnt sure if it was just my imagination but she doesn't looked pleased at me. but when i said i was just a volunteer doing visits for some patients that's when her facial expression changed (and so is the other nurse who's sitting next to her). then i saw some level of comprehension on her face. i wonder if it's because she was sort of expecting that i should be wearing a scrubs uniform (i was there wearing a dressy shorts and a blouse). i wear shorts or skirts or dress when i make my visits because it's easier for me to move.

anyway, so i squatted right next to where J's wheel chair is and said hi to her and she woke up. i saw that welcoming smile again which always reminded me why i like doing my visits. she smiled and then said: "i don't know you". i was a bit surprised because she would usually remember me when i visit her, well atleast that's what i thought because she never asks me who i am. but that's fine, that's expected. so i told her i'm her friend and i was there to visit her and she just replied "oh".

then i asked the nurses if she's scheduled for something, like for a bath or whatever and if i can wheel her up and down the hall for a bit. i had to ask because i wasn't sure why she's outside the dining hall unattended and if she's there just waiting for her turn for a bath or to get changed. but the nurses gave me a go signal and so i wheeled her up the hallway.

we stopped at a window and i talked to her for a bit. then i stood behind her lightly rubbing her shoulder and back with my thumb while we both looked at the trees and cars passing outside the window. then she dozed off. i just did that lightly rubbing thing until it's time to go.

i guess that's it for now.

the pink nail polish

sept 13, 2009 (sunday)
10:00 - 11:30am


=== I ===
she was at the dining hall, as usual. when she saw me the first thing she asked is if i'm staying. i told her i'll be staying for a while to visit her and we started up and down the hall again with her wheelchair. and then we stopped on the lounge near the elevator and i told her i have a surprise for her. i showed her all the nail polish colors that i have and i asked her which color she wants and she just shrugged. so i picked baby pink for her. i bought cheerful colors and not the usual old women's color but i think i may have to rethink that and buy a couple of conservative colors. so anyway, i applied nail polish on her nails but just a very thin coat. she have been good and she just watched me while i do her nails. i think she liked it when i started blowing on her nails to make the nail polish to dry quickly bec she smiled when i did that. when it's time to go, i said my goodbyes but i told her i'll come back and she replied with "will you?" and i said "yes! and we'll try another nail polish color next time". and she smiled and told me to take it easy.



=== T ===
i went to (T) next because (P)'s room is closed and i was thinking they might be changing her clothes or something. (T) is in the dining hall sleeping. i said hi to him but he just very briefly opened his eyes and went back to sleeping. i just sat next to him rubbing his shoulder whenever he opens his eyes just to let him know i'm still there sitting next to him.


=== P ===
last stop is (P). she was also sleeping when i got to her room. she was sleeping on her side which is not the position i would normally see her. but anyway, i greeted her and she opened her eyes. she was calm for a while and she started complaining about her shirt. she keeps holding her shirt and she's saying something like "take it off". i tried to rearrange her shirt (it's a long sleeves) and i tried to pull up the sleeves because she might be just feeling hot but she still looked uncomfortable with her shirt. anyway, i was planning to do her nails too but she moves a lot, tossing and turning (laying on her back then back on her sides then on her back again) and pulling her shirt, maybe next time.


=== J ===
no (J) today. she's 2x a month.
i'll visit her next week.



p.s.
i need to bring my camera next time
i want to take a picture of "my girls"
nails (just the nails, i need to protect
their identity) after our sorta manicure session.

nail polish session - not today

wednesday - sept 9, 2009 from 4:30 to 6:30pm



=== P ===

i found (P) sliding off from her bed while she's asking for help. i tried to call two nurses to help her out which they gladly did. when (P) started getting comfortable she started talking. well, atleast tried to talk. at first i didnt know what she's trying to say i keep hearing 'scissors' and i was like, what does she needs the scissors for? and she keeps trying to keep her hair away from her face so i thought that's why she's asking for scissors, because her hair is making her uncomfortable and maybe she wants to have it cut off. but after a few minutes i realized she's saying 'cesar' and she sounded like she's talking to someone. and i may have heard something like "im sorry cesar". i'm really not sure. it's really hard to understand what she's trying to say. anyway, she looked very anxious that day and instead of reading for her i ended up just watching her and trying to help her with her hair and i would just rub her hand and whisper "it's alright, it's alright", because she really looked like she's struggling over something. i've never seen her that anxious.



=== I ===

i went to see (I) next. she's in a very good mood as usual. i was laughing the whole time when she was trying to out do the other old lady infront of her who keeps screaming something unintelligible and (I) would be like, "i can do that better" and she will make sounds that sounded like a bird gurgling, *lol*. and then she started singing. she said she like that song very much. i wish i know what that song is so i could find an mp3 and have her listen to it the next time i visit. i tried to ask her if she remembered the title of the song but she would just keep on humming. i tried to hum with her but she would just laugh at me, *lol*


=== T ===

i found him sitting at the dining room dozing off. but he opened his eyes when i said hi to him. i did nothing but sit beside him and smile at him whenever he'll open his eyes to look at me.



=== J ===

(J) is also in the dining room w/ (T). she looked really pleased when she saw me. i like that. i was actually watching her from a short distance while i was sitting with (T) (i didn't think she saw me come inside the dining room), she was just sitting on her wheelchair and watching tv and she looked bored. but after i was done visiting (T) and went to her oh how she smiled! and she started talking although i still find it difficult to understand her when she talks but i somehow was able to make out some of the words she said like that one when she asked where i have been. i would try ask her questions about how she is, if she had dinner already and she would answer but then again it's really difficult for me to hear her well because of her soft voice and kind of nasal voice. i just try to nod and smile whenever she talks pretending i understood her and she would smile at me in return.



p.s.
see that photo...that's my hand... i figured if i put some on my nails it would be easier for them to decide w/c color to get... i brought several color of nail polish to bring it with me at the hospice so i could have some manicure session w/ my girls (except for (J), i can't do (J))... i asked (P) if she wants her nails done and i showed her the nail polish i brought and the colors on my nails but she said no...i was thinking of asking (I) the same question but dinner was about to be served so i can't... maybe on my next visit...

last visit

sept 1 (tues) 5:00-5:30pm

i was looking at my personal visit track sheet that i made from excel and i realized i just need to make one last visit for just one person for the month of august and i'm done.

(I) is 4x a month
(P) is 4x a month
(T) is 4x a month
(J) is 2x a month

i lack 1 visit for T because he was given to me a week after i started visiting (I) and (P) and so i went to see (T) yesterday after work (i have to come to work an hour early).

i arrived at the hospice 5 minutes before 5pm and they were serving dinner already. (T) wasn't in his room so i went to the dining hall. he was there watching tv. i said my hello and sat right next to him and we just watched tv together and later i just watched him eat. i didn't read to him that day since we're in the dining hall and it would be hard for him to hear me with the tv and other people talking.

that's it. nothing much to talk about.

oh, i asked my coordinator about the nail polish session. she gave me the go signal already. except that i can't do it for (J). i have to ask my coordinator for the go signal whenever i have to do something extra for the patients to make sure it would be harmless both for me and for the patient.