waking up early

i normally don't do patient visits during work days, specially in the morning but i have some catching up to do and today is the only time i can squeeze visiting in my already crammed schedule...


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feb 23 2010 - 9:00am - 10:00am
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she was asleep. i tried to greet her to sort of wake her up but she didn't budge. i stood there for a bit just watching her and thinking of my first move when she opened her eyes. i said hi again and she just looked at me. she was trying to push the table in front of her so i helped her with that.then i asked her how she's been to which she didn't reply. i told her that it's raining outside, still no response. then she went back to sleep.


c.b was also sleeping when i visited him. i was kinda hesitant to come inside when i saw that his diapers are showing. i wasn't sure if the nurse is not done with him yet. but i braved going inside anyway. i said my usual hi to c.b. but he didnt hear me. i tried again. nothing. i was waiting for him to open his eyes which he usually does when he hears my voice but he's sleeping. i sat there for a bit and just watching him sleep. i can't help but look at his photos and then look back at him. what a difference. in his photos he looked really happy and healthy and the person im staring at right now is a man without a trace of smile. i dont blame him. whenever im sick i seldom smile myself. but he's pleasant to talk with whenever he's up for some chit chats.

on photos and closed door

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feb 17 - 5:00 - 6:00 PM
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i visited g.w. my coordinator told me that she's an active dying patient but i was surprised that when i visited her she can still carry a conversation.i was expecting to see her sleeping or non-responsive like anna (my first patient who passed away after my 1st visit).

we talked about the pictures posted on her wall and she explained to me who they are. i asked her if she has a pet because i saw in her profile that she has a dog and she said "no, i just have that one" and she pointed to a dog stuffed-toy. i asked him what the dog's name is and she said she forgot.
after a few more chit-chats i said my goodbye and i told her i'll be visiting her again which she replied with "that would be nice".


when i visited c.b. i was surprised that the door is closed. i tried to knock thinking that maybe a nurse is helping one of the patients inside to change their clothes but i heard no response so i went ahead and opened the door. the first thing i saw is an old guy squinting because i think i woke him up because i opened the door. it was very dark inside. i went ahead and went straight to c.b.'s bed (middle bed). i said hi to carl but i was half whispering because i dont want to wake up the other patients (i might have upset one patient already because the light might have hurt his eyes when i opened the door)... i just sat there only for a bit because it really got a lil uncomfortable. it is dark inside and i dont want to turn on the lights because i'm scared to get yelled at.

happy valentine's day!

i drove from my place to lansdale and decided to meet a friend of mine for a bit who then drove me to the hospice... after which we went to this local breakfast place called koffee korner...excellent, excellent breakfast...my friend who's a local at lansdale told me that's lansdale's well-kept secret...

anyway....


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feb 14. 9:30 - 10:30
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yeah, it was valentines day when i visited c.b... the first thing i noticed was the heart-shaped balloons on his cabinet.i guess he had a visitor early that morning or the day before that. anyway, he's awake, which is good. my volunteer coordinator gave me a heads-up that he's always usually sleeping i asked him how he is. he can still talk. although it's hard to understand what he's saying sometimes. i also noticed the gold watch on his left wrist. i complimented him for that. he said it's a gift from his wife. from his paper it says there he's a widower and i thought it's sweet that he always wear that watch. he looks really old and frail and i can't help but just stare at him. but after much staring i decided to read him a book. while i'm reading he would sometimes reply back. i think he's confusing me reading to him with talking to him.

note to self: i need to buy a book that describes beautiful scenes. the book im reading for my patients is kinda violent (the lord of the flies)



next is g.w.
g.w was asleep when i went to her room. i tried to say hi hoping she'll open her eyes but unfortunately she didnt. i tried again thinking maybe she just didnt hear me but still no reaction. so i just sat there and just found myself staring at the photos posted on her wall.

on hiatus but im back

i know, it's been a while...

i was on hiatus to take care of some personal stuff and because i was too busy with work...

i'm supposed to start my visits again last saturday but because of the snow storm i wasn't able to..

it just dawned on me...i started training for hospice volunteering, on feb, 14 2009...it's been almost a year now...wow, how time flies...